Lace Dress and the Paradox of Choice

Lace Dress and the Paradox of Choicefeatured

I love the internet. I learned how to use make up, cook a mean Bolognese, shoot outfits, order at a restaurant in Italian and many other useful things here. But here’s something I, and millions of other people struggle with: choices.

Lace dress outfit shot in a blooming garden. Found on A Handful of Stories.

I was listening to Aziz Ansari’s “Modern Romance” audiobook the other day (which is a hilarious and sweet study of dating in the digital era), and one part stood out to me.

“This kind of rigor goes into a lot of my decision making. Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling, or, god forbid, something I’m buying, I feel compelled to do a lot of research to make sure I’m getting the best.

At certain times, though, this “I need the best” mentality can be debilitating. I wish I could just eat somewhere that looks good and be happy with my choice. But I can’t. The problem is that I know somewhere there is a perfect meal for me and I have to do however much research I can to find it.
That’s the thing about the Internet: It doesn’t simply help us find the best thing out there; it has helped to produce the idea that there is a best thing and, if we search hard enough, we can find it. And in turn there are a whole bunch of inferior things that we’d be foolish to choose.

 

Lace dress outfit shot in a blooming garden. Found on A Handful of Stories.

Is the endless array of choices diminishing our ability to actually choose one thing? In today’s world, uninformed and spontaneous decisions are becoming less and less likely.

Going to the cinema? Better check out trailers, ratings, reviews and cast interviews. Booking a hotel? Travel blogs, booking.com, tripadvisor, hotel’s websites and social media. Ordering pizza? Google foodie blogs for top pizza delivery round ups, read reviews, study the place’s hashtag to see how the pie looks irl. Shopping for culottes online? Don’t even get me started.

Lace dress outfit shot in a blooming garden. Found on A Handful of Stories.

How many times have you ordered pizza because you spent hours pinning mouthwatering recipes and were already too hungry to cook anything? Or worse, ate peanuts and old cheese you found at the back of the fridge because you got too overwhelmed by the countless delivery options?

I legitimately cry every time I have to book vacations. Do you settle for good enough or do you drive yourself up the wall researching every single accommodation and attraction?

I hope some day to find a healthy balance in my relationship with the internet. Some day having all of the world’s information at my fingertips won’t prompt me to watch cat videos for hours. But not today. Surely not today.

Lace dress outfit shot in a blooming garden. Found on A Handful of Stories.

Photos and editing by Natalia Karpova

Shop lace dresses:

Do you suffer from the paradox of choice? What is the most ridiculous thing you researched for too long? Mine’s a toothbrush I hunted on eBay for hours, I like it sleek and see-through.

About the author

Yana

Hi! I'm Yana. I'm here to inspire you to try new things in fashion, travel and in life. I'm a fashion stylist, cat lady and a food enthusiast with an endless list of travel goals. Check out my contacts to stalk me on social media and don't forget to subscribe to monthly A Handful of Stories recaps at the bottom of the page!

  • I love this post- this idea of being overwhelmed by options is exactly why I started using a capsule wardrobe and limiting how I use Pinterest and Instagram! Its way too easy to be caught up in the options and settle for something less good than all the choices you explored! I’ve spent hours looking at leather jackets, dangling gold matchstick earrings, and vintage Russian scarves. Hours. Only to find that I didn’t need to. My husband is the same- between the two of us we’ll waste 3 hours of precious vacation time looking for a Groupon for dinner! I think next time I need to research something I’ll give myself like an hour to make a choice. Or I’ll find 3 really good options and just pick from those.

    Thanks for sharing! Great food for thought.

    Kate
    kateintheclassroom.com

    • Thank you for your thoughtful comment Kate! A capsule wardrobe sounds nice, but I still don’t think it will work for me 🙂 I know people who thrive on limited options, but I’m not there yet.
      I generally enjoy the abundance of options, but it does have side-effects like hours wasted and the anxiety. I’m yet to find a solution. Can’t give up my extensive research just yet 🙂
      Tell me, how do you limit yourself? Do you stick to trusted websites? Only research the first page of google search results?

      • I limit myself both in the amount of time and the kind of content I look at when it comes to Pinterest, but for trying to find the best options I go for trusted brands first and research the reviews. If I can’t find what I want that way, I do a combination of price and review comparisons. When I feel myself getting a little manic about it, then I stop and make a decision. That is usually after like a day of thinking about the options and researching. My husband does it for like a month! I can’t handle that intensity and that amount of time! I remind myself that I will find a good option that works for me, and that even if my choice isn’t the best one, I can (almost) always change it!

        • I admire your self-control. I was booking a holiday with several locations a couple of weeks ago and it turned into a month-long nightmare. Couldn’t help but think there would be a nicer/cheaper option on that other website on Google page 5…
          It’s like I can’t look away 😀

  • Kirsten Wick

    This is so pretty, that dress suits you so well 🙂 Love, Kirsten

    http://www.thelifbissue.com

    • Thank you Kristen 🙂

  • Alyssa Renee

    This dress is beautiful! Love how you kept the neutral color tones! =)

    ~Alyssa~
    shesalyssarenee.com
    Follow Me:
    Instagram
 | Facebook | Bloglovin

    • Thank you for stopping by!

  • MISPAPELICOS

    Sooooooooooo very pretty
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • This dress is beautiful and the whole outfit looks so good on you.
    This is so true about what the internet has done to our minds. I almost hate making travel plans because i spend ridiculous amount of hours just trying to book something that should have taken a few minutes.
    http://stylediarybyosy.blogspot.com/

  • Morgan

    This look is sooo gorgeous! Love the color on you; so chic, feminine & ethereal. And your hair!!! I die for that hair! Thanks for linking up!

  • Samaira Khan
  • Wow. I am in love. The dress is absolutely my style as well. It looks amazing on you, and your look si so feminine! I know exactly what you mean. I like the idea of going to a movie and not having to see what the critics say, check IMDB, etc etc.. just sometimes less is more!

    Thanks for linking up with Turning Heads Tuesday!

    jess xx

    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

  • That lace dress is beautiful on you and I love the way you have accessorised it! 🙂

    I think it is easy to find too many things to read up on and research before buying things now! I take the easy way out – I don’t have a lot of time so I stick with the stores I know, the styles I know, and places and food I know. Makes life a little easier, haha!

    Thank you for joining the Wednesday Pants Link Up I co-hosted!

    Away From The Blue

  • Happinessatmidlife

    This dress is gorgeous!! I have to agree wit you that the internet gives us way too many choices that it makes it sometimes tougher to make a decisions.

    Alice

    http://www.happpinessatmidlife.com

    Would love to see you Thursday for TBT Fashion link up.

  • What a beautiful dress, and I love what you are saying here. I think what I have done the most research on today is shein.com and to see how legit it was and reviews (most of them bad, yet bloggers don’t say that). Hmph! crushed alert. I hope you found your sleek and see through toothbrush. Thank you for linking up to “Bloggers Who Have Inspired Me.”
    Rachel xo

  • This is such a gorgeous dress! The lace detailing is so pretty, as well as the color. I love the tie around it and it really accentuates your small waist. These photos are so dreamy and so gorgeous!

    Denise | Fashion Love Letters

  • Shian K

    Hi there, stopping by from Chic Street Style’s linkup! I loved the detailing of this dress on the photo, it’s seriously gorgeous. Even more on point though, this post. It drives me nuts to think of how much time we waste trolling and scrolling without a dash of spontaneity in life. Don’t get me wrong, when I have a serious life choice to make (i.e. which hair salon to get highlights at 😉 I’m Yelping that ish. But when it’s something as simple as where should we grab dinner in this new, cute little town, I’m with you. We should just go for it… That’s enough ranting for now, haha. But I hope your week is treating you well!

    Xoxo,

    Shian | The Fashion Investigator

    • Thank you for your thoughtful comment Shian! I do find the endless search for perfection in the most trifle cases ridiculous, but it doesn’t mean I never fall victim to it 🙂 In fact, I spent time on some of the most bizarre searches in the history of eBay haha

      • Shian K

        You crack me up. I have definitely done an ABSURD amount of eBay searching in my day, refining so hard :p

  • What a stunning lace dress, Yana! Love <3

    xo,
    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

  • Luisa Hammett

    LOVE this look Yana! The lace is so chic and feminine! Beautiful as always!

    Xo,

    Luisa

    http://www.peachestopearls.com

    • Thank you for your sweet comment Luisa 🙂

  • Vicky @ The Nursery Project

    Very very true – although I was like this before the internet… just walking through the grocery store kills me….

    • It is mostly a sweet torture though, pondering over the endless options 🙂

  • Gosh there’s a lot of truth in this one – you’re so right on the overwhelming choice out there now. I think the biggest moment of madness that I’ve had was finding the ‘right’ postage stamps for our wedding invitations! Total height of my bride crazy. There’s a lot to be said for simpler times and less choice! But when you do discover that perfect find… well… I created a whole blog about it! Ha! x

    • Oh I can not even imagine what levels my obsession would reach if I got to plan a wedding lol.
      It is an extensive topic, great idea for a blog 🙂 Love your design too!

  • What a gorgeous dress! It’s so unique!

    • Thanks for stopping by Amy 🙂

  • Kinga Sarolta Kavasi

    just love that dress, I have it also! so classy 🙂 kisses

    Saci
    ChocolateFashionCoffee
    ChocolateFashionCoffee Facebook Page

    • Thanks! 🙂 Embarrassingly got it at H&M in Paris haha

  • Darcy

    GORGEOUS dress! Fits you perfectly!
    http://www.amemoryofus.com