Childhood Fear

Childhood Fearfeatured

Isn’t it funny, how feelings work? In a year, anything that seems significant now might fade away without a trace.  The pain of loss or separation – is it merely the fear of nothing that comes afterwards? The void you have to, and will fill with completely different things. You can not survive without letting go and accepting the change. Yet the very changes you need to embrace will be hard goodbyes again. It almost doesn’t make sense, how we put ourselves through this vicious cycle. But we can’t help it, can we?

I sometimes look into the windows I’m passing and see people reading books, cooking food, arguing, doing homework, chatting on the phone… living life. The thought of catching a glimpse of a stranger’s life frightened me since childhood. The idea of all the people everywhere having dreams, beliefs, loves, hopes. And how little most of those mean to me. My world revolves around me as much as anyone else’s world revolves around them. Who’s to say what’s right and what’s wrong? If their lives don’t matter to me, do they matter? If my life doesn’t matter to them, does my life matter?

I often thought about this issue, and I’m starting to believe most people share common values. There probably is a thing called human nature. If both sides want to understand and be understood, they can achieve that. But to this day, accidentally learning something about complete strangers whom I’ll never see again sends chills down my spine. Knowing how far apart we are. Knowing that to the universe, we are all just passers by. A flick of light that lasts a brief moment.

Anywaaaays, here’s my happy bright look, toodlez!

Camel coat and midi skirt look on A Handful of Stories.Yellow shirt and orange tulips on A Handful of Stories.Camel coat & suede boots outfit on A Handful of Stories.Shadow from the eyelashes portrait on A Handful of Stories.

Photos by Bella

About the author


Hi! I'm Yana. I'm here to inspire you to try new things in fashion, travel and in life. I'm a fashion stylist, cat lady and a food enthusiast with an endless list of travel goals. Check out my contacts to stalk me on social media and don't forget to subscribe to monthly A Handful of Stories recaps at the bottom of the page!