The truth is, I couldn’t bring myself up to writing a blog post for the past week. If you’re following me on Instagram, you might know I’m going through another thing with Leo right now. Although I never wanted my blog to trigger those feelings in myself or others, I had an urge to publish a depressing rant this morning, a blinding whirlpool of bitter half-finished phrases and useless regrets.
But does it help? I took these photos on a happy day, and there are happy days ahead. Sometimes it’s great to vent, but acknowledging my feelings and moving on is what seems to keep me sane (most of the time). Understanding the abyss is there, but not jumping into it head first. Because you’re the one who gives it power. Because it will never be worth it. Because “this too shall pass.”
You could dissect your feelings weeks, but if you’re anything like me, assembling those fragments into a functioning person afterward might prove difficult. Mindfulness is awesome, but do give the outer world a chance, it just might surprise you – speaking from personal experience. And as hard as it is, try not to take most of what’s happening personally.
Now did I just perform a joyous dance, a quick workout and made plans to go out tonight? Hell no. But I know that every time I stop myself from indulging in the comfort of apathetic sadness or blind rage, I’m that much closer to another happy day.
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